I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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