They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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