Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
