Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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