you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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