oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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