Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
