Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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