I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Say something about gay babies.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i've created a new STD.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
