My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
