2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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