Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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