just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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