Just mADE A PArabola og urine
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
