lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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