oh god the rape fog is back!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
