It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
