you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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