Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize