Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
