we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
