I need to stop coming to work sober
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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