I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
