It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
