dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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