The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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