Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
