What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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