Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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