you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's official drugs can't kill me
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
