ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
