Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
