At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Shame is for Republicans.
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