The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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