If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
