There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
