She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
