Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize