Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize