Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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