she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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