I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
