my soul wont recognize me after tonight
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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