Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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