I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
