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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."

  (716): View more from New York

  lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."

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• (979): View more from Texas

  his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom

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• (721): View more from

  I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.

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