$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
