My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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