two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
