he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize