i think i have herpe
just one?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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