Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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