ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh god it's open bar.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
