My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
