don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
