i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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