Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
