It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
