hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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