sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
