hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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