Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
