Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
